The Unresolved Child Within: The Inner Child

The term inner child may sound familiar, as it has been embraced by self-help writing and New Age movements..

Despite the term's widespread use, the idea of the inner child is actually an important and useful principle that originated in psychotherapy.

Many schools of therapeutic thought recognize the childlike aspect of our personalities referred to as the inner child. They use several names for this concept, including the “child archetype,” the “child within,” the “wonder child,” and the “wounded child.”

What is the inner child?

The term inner childcertainly does not mean that a small child lives inside you or that one part of your brain is devoted exclusively to childish thoughts!

The general idea is that we all have a childlike part within our unconscious. The inner child can be viewed as a “subpersonality,” an aspect of your personality that can take control and take the lead whenever you encounter a difficult situation.

The inner child reflects the child we once were, including both the “negative” and “positive” aspects. Our unmet needs and suppressed childhood feelings, as well as our childhood innocence, creativity, and joy, are still waiting within us.

Suppressed feelings can include all the things you were told as a child not to feel if you wanted to be loved. If you only received attention when you behaved well, for example, you may find that your inner child carries rebellion, sadness, and anger. If you experienced trauma or abuse, you may have learned to hide your pain and fear in order to survive.

The inner child may also conceal everything we were taught about ourselves by our parents, teachers, or other adults. These messages may sound like: “You had better not say what you really think,” “Do not try to get that promotion; you simply are not smart enough,” “Men do not cry,” or “Sex is dirty.”

Why is the inner child an important concept?

The idea is that reaching your inner child can help you find the roots of the problems you experience as an adult.

Working with the inner child may help with the following:

• Discovering and releasing suppressed feelings that hold you back.
• Helping you identify your unmet needs.
• Helping you unravel or resolve unhelpful patterns.
• Giving you an opportunity to increase and develop your self-care.
• Helping you become creative and playful.
• Strengthening your self-esteem.

How did the concept of the inner child emerge?

Many trace the beginnings of the inner-child concept to Carl Jung. He included the “child archetype” in his list of archetypes representing “individuation”—the development of the different aspects of the self into a fully functioning whole.

Carl Jung became deeply interested in the concept of the “child within” after separating from Freud. In his book “Memories, Dreams, Reflections” he wrote that he had become aware of losing the creativity and love of making things that he had possessed as a child. He observed the feelings that arose whenever he remembered his childhood creativity and began building a relationship with the “little child” inside him by doing playful things, which brought up other memories and feelings to be addressed.

In Jung's theory, the child archetype can be a way of helping us connect with the past as we remember our childhood experiences and feelings. It can also help us mature and discover what we want from our future.

“Transactional analysis was another psychological school that highlighted the idea of the “inner child.” It is a branch of psychoanalysis developed in the 1950s and holds that the way we behave around others comes from one of three ego states: the child, the parent, or the adult.

By the 1970s, various forms of the “inner child” concept were being used by self-help authors and the 12-step movement, alongside the development of concepts related to codependency (pathological psychological attachment).

Do all forms of psychotherapy involve the inner child?

Many approaches are currently used to treat psychological and emotional problems. Some forms of therapy do not use the idea of the inner child or rely on the past at all. One example is cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses more on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Should I find a psychotherapist who can help me with my inner child?

It depends on what suits you best. If you had a traumatic childhood, if you have difficulty accessing your feelings, and if you find it difficult to trust others and connect with them emotionally, working with the inner child may be helpful. If you are unsure, ask your psychotherapist or try a self-help book in this area.

Article by the group Harley Therapy

Photographer Davidlohr Bueso