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Childhood trauma: how to support your child

Alanoud AlturkiMedical review: Tatmeen team6 min read
دب محشو بين بطانية محاكة وكتب ومكعبات ملونة، وبجواره بيت صغير مضاء ولعبة قوس قزح.
Article contents
  1. Fear can show up in behaviour
  2. What to say and do
  3. When to seek assessment
  4. You need support too
  5. Frequently Asked Questions
  6. Sources and references
  7. Writer and reviewer

After an accident, assault or another frightening experience, a child first needs safety, care and a dependable adult. You can help without asking them to tell you everything that happened. Make sure they are safe, meet their basic needs and arrange care for any injury. Let them talk, play or be quiet1 at their own pace.

For ongoing danger, a serious injury, or an immediate threat of harm to self or others, seek help now rather than waiting weeks. In Saudi Arabia, call 9973 for urgent medical help. For reports of harm to a child5 under 18 in Saudi Arabia, inside or outside the family, call 1919, free and around the clock. Do not return the child to someone who harms them for “confrontation” or treatment.

Fear can show up in behaviour

A young child may cling to a caregiver1, start wetting the bed again or repeat parts of a frightening event in play. A teenager may withdraw, become irritable or feel guilty for not preventing what happened. Sleep and concentration may change. Noticing these changes can help you understand what support the child needs. They are not enough to diagnose PTSD, and they do not mean the child is deliberately being difficult.

Look at the impact: can the child sleep, eat, and attend school? Are they avoiding most activities? Are new problems appearing or worsening? A few notes can help an assessment without monitoring every movement or interpreting every drawing.

What to say and do

Situation A response to try
They want to talk “I'm listening. Take your time.” Listen without pressing for details or telling them how they should feel.
They do not want to talk “You do not have to talk now. I am here when you need me.” Avoid repeated questions about details.
They blame themselves “The harm was not your fault.” Do not make them responsible for preventing an adult's actions.
They fear bedtime Agree on a suitable temporary arrangement, such as a soft light and familiar story, without promising the fear will vanish tomorrow.
Everything feels beyond their control Offer a small, real choice, such as clothes or a quiet activity.
“Will it happen again?” Explain what you know about safety and the next step: “I am with you now, and we will go to the safe place we have arranged.” Use what is true in your situation, without promising that harm can never recur.

Keep familiar mealtimes, bedtimes and play routines where possible, and limit repeated exposure to disturbing news1 or videos. When a full routine is impossible, try one activity or time of day they can count on. Avoid teasing them about behaviour they had grown out of, telling them to “be strong” or asking them to forget what happened. You can offer this everyday support without asking for a detailed account of the event.

When to seek assessment

Contact the child's doctor or a child mental health professional if symptoms are severe, disrupt daily life, get worse or raise concerns about safety. Seek assessment as well if problems continue over the following weeks without improvement. You do not have to wait a month to ask for advice; early help may be appropriate2 depending on symptoms and circumstances.

Assessment considers the child's age and development, what happened, current safety, the impact of symptoms and physical health. The professional may recommend planned follow-up or trauma-focused treatment. One supported approach is trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy2, adapted to the child's age and delivered by a trained professional. Decisions about EMDR for children differ from those for adults. Choose treatment with the professional, rather than from its name or an online video.

Your role is to support the child and participate in their plan where appropriate. Making them retell the event or exposing them to feared situations at home is not a substitute for specialist treatment.

You need support too

You may have been affected by the same event. Seek support from a trusted adult or professional so you can care for yourself and the child, without making the child responsible for soothing you. In Saudi Arabia, 937 offers general health advice and service guidance. It does not replace an ambulance in an emergency.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do first if my child has been through an accident or assault?

Start with safety: make sure they are safe, meet their basic needs and arrange care for any injury. You can help without asking them to tell you everything that happened.

For ongoing danger, a serious injury, or an immediate threat of harm to self or others, seek help now; in Saudi Arabia, call 997 for urgent medical help. To report harm to a child under 18, inside or outside the family, call 1919, free and around the clock. Do not return the child to someone who harms them for “confrontation” or treatment.

What are the signs of trauma in children?

A young child may cling to a caregiver, start wetting the bed again or repeat parts of a frightening event in play. A teenager may withdraw, become irritable or feel guilty for not preventing what happened. Sleep and concentration may change. These changes help you understand what support the child needs, but they are not enough to diagnose PTSD, and they do not mean the child is deliberately being difficult.

What should I say to my child after a frightening event?

If they want to talk, try: “I'm listening. Take your time.” Listen without pressing for details. If they do not, say: “You do not have to talk now. I am here when you need me.” If they blame themselves: “The harm was not your fault.” If they ask whether it will happen again, explain what you know about safety and the next step, without promising that harm can never recur.

When should my child see a professional after trauma?

Contact the child's doctor or a child mental health professional if symptoms are severe, disrupt daily life, get worse or raise concerns about safety. Seek assessment as well if problems continue over the following weeks without improvement. You do not have to wait a month to ask for advice; early help may be appropriate depending on symptoms and circumstances.

How is trauma treated in children?

One supported approach is trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy, adapted to the child's age and delivered by a trained professional. After assessment, the professional may recommend planned follow-up or trauma-focused treatment. Decisions about EMDR for children differ from those for adults, so choose treatment with the professional rather than from its name or an online video. Making a child retell the event or exposing them to feared situations at home is not a substitute for specialist treatment.

Writing and article review

Alanoud AlturkiWritten byAlanoud Alturki

Content writer and researcher at Tatmeen, writing in Arabic and English on mental health and everyday life topics, including relationships, stress, work, habits, and family.

Tatmeen teamMedical reviewTatmeen team

Every Tatmeen article is reviewed by care providers licensed by the Saudi Commission for Health Specialties, so what you read is accurate and trustworthy.

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