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If Your Child or Teen Talks About Suicide: What to Do Now

Alanoud AlturkiMedical review: Tatmeen team10 min read
مراهق ومراهقة جالسان فوق سطح، وخلفهما مدينة وسماء منقسمة بين الغروب والسحب الداكنة.
Article contents
  1. Take the words seriously, even if they seem fleeting
  2. Ask clearly, without an interrogation
  3. What to say after they tell you
  4. If you discover self-harm
  5. Help the professional understand what happened
  6. If you are responsible for the student at school
  7. After assessment, agree on a clear plan
  8. If you are the child or teen reading this
  9. Frequently Asked Questions
  10. Sources and references
  11. Writer and reviewer

If your child has thoughts of killing themselves or ending their life now, stay with them and seek urgent assessment. Do not leave them alone or wait for a routine appointment. In Saudi Arabia, accompany them to the nearest emergency department if travel is safe, or call 997 for an ambulance when there is immediate danger1.

Also call 997 for an ongoing or recent suicide attempt that has not received medical assessment, a serious injury, possible poisoning or harmful ingestion, or an inability to keep them safe. Do not wait for symptoms after possible harmful ingestion11 or finish reading before asking for help. Stay with your child and follow the team's instructions.

While arranging help:

  1. Speak calmly: “I'll stay with you. We're going to call for help now.”
  2. Remove or secure medications and other things they could use to hurt themselves, if you can do so without putting anyone in danger. Do not delay the call while trying to secure everything.
  3. Ask another trusted adult to help if possible, with an adult continuing to stay with your child.
  4. Tell ambulance or emergency staff what was said, what you noticed, and about any injury, attempt or possible harmful ingestion and when it happened. Follow their instructions.

The Saudi Ministry of Health's 937 service provides health advice around the clock3. In immediate danger, begin with ambulance or emergency care; do not delay it while waiting for advice.

Other concerning talk about death or a disclosure of past self-harm needs prompt contact with a pediatrician or family doctor, or 937 for health guidance. Explain what you heard or found, follow any plan from an earlier assessment and tell the team about changes. If safety or the need for urgent medical care is uncertain, do not wait for a routine appointment. If you discover self-harm12, the calm words and direct questions below can help you begin the conversation. An injury's appearance alone cannot tell you whether your child intended to die.

Take the words seriously, even if they seem fleeting

A child may say “I wish I were dead” or “No one would miss me.” Pause and ask what they mean, even if they say it during an argument or try to change the subject afterwards. Do not dismiss it as dramatics or attention-seeking, or assume that being young rules out danger.

Warning signs include talk of death4 or being a burden, hopelessness, unusual goodbyes, withdrawal and new or increasing changes in behavior and sleep. A single sign does not establish that a child will attempt suicide, and you do not need to collect a fixed number of signs before seeking help.

Ask clearly, without an interrogation

Asking directly about suicide5 does not plant the idea in someone's mind. Use words the child understands, ask calmly and listen.

You might ask a teen: “When you said you didn't want to live, were you thinking about suicide or ending your life? Are you thinking about that now?”

For a younger child: “You said you wanted to die. Have you thought about hurting yourself so that you would die? Have you done anything to hurt yourself?” Do not assume you know what they mean. Listen to their explanation and seek an assessment suited to their age6 and understanding.

If they say they are thinking about ending their life now, stay with them and seek urgent assessment10 as described at the beginning. If they deny it, do not treat their answer or calm appearance as sufficient proof of safety. Tell the professional about the concerning words and what happened. The questions help you understand your child; you still need professional assessment2 rather than deciding at home that the danger has passed.

What to say after they tell you

“Thank you for telling me. I'll stay with you. We'll get help together.”

Hearing this may frighten you, but try to give them room to finish. Do not argue about why they “should be happy,” compare them with people who have it worse or make them responsible for the family's pain. Explain what you will do next: contact the doctor or seek urgent help, depending on the situation. Listening without judgment5 and helping them reach care are central parts of responding.

Do not promise to keep a safety threat secret. You can say: “I won't tell everyone. I'll tell the people whose help we need to protect you.” If a family member is a source of fear or abuse, seek help from a safe adult or protection service; do not make that person the only adult responsible for the response.

If you discover self-harm

A child may harm themselves without intending to die, may have suicidal intent, or may be unsure. Ask about current thoughts as described above and seek assessment. Self-harm deserves help even when they say they did not want to die. Address any urgent medical or safety need first.

You might begin: “I want to know how to help you, and I won't punish you for telling me.” Then ask “What would you like me to understand?” or “Would you rather write than talk?” Do not ask them to demonstrate what happened or explain every detail. NHS guidance encourages understanding feelings without judgment9 and asking about the support the person needs.

If speaking with you is difficult, help them talk with another safe adult. Contact the doctor for assessment, or 937 for health guidance, and clearly say the concern involves self-harm12. Do not make speaking or promising to stop a condition of receiving help. If what happened has already been assessed, follow the team's plan and report changes. Current thoughts of ending their life or any emergency require an immediate return to the urgent safety steps10.

Help the professional understand what happened

Mental-health difficulties, bullying, violence and other pressures may overlap. Tell the professional what you heard and when, changes in sleep, school and relationships, any self-harm or past attempt, and safety concerns at home or school. Give your child room to speak too. This information helps the professional assess intent, safety and care needs2.

If you are responsible for the student at school

Do not leave the student alone when there is danger. Seek urgent help and involve the responsible safeguarding staff under the school's procedures. Contact a safe caregiver. If you suspect abuse or fear that this contact could increase danger, ask the protection authority for guidance. In Saudi Arabia, 1919 receives family-violence and child-abuse reports7 around the clock, including abuse of a child outside the family.

After assessment, agree on a clear plan

Before leaving, ask the care team to explain:

  • Who to contact if thoughts return, and what to do if you cannot reach them.
  • Which changes require emergency care, and what safety arrangements are needed at home.
  • When the next appointment is, and who will arrange it and accompany your child.

Write down contacts and responsibilities, involving your child in a way that fits their understanding.

A safety plan8 is developed with a professional and includes actions and accessible support. “Promise me you won't do anything” is not a substitute and does not establish that danger has passed. Continue securing dangerous items and following the team's follow-up instructions.

Stay close after the crisis, with room for everyday life too. Ask what helped today and whether using the plan was difficult. Arrange school support when needed, sharing necessary information with people who can help. Seek support for yourself too so that you can continue caring for your child.

If you are the child or teen reading this

Tell a safe adult now: “I'm afraid I may hurt myself. I need you to stay with me and help.” This could be someone in your family or school, or another trusted adult if home is unsafe. If the first person does not take you seriously, tell someone else. You do not need to wait until things become worse.

If you have thoughts of killing yourself or ending your life now, get urgent help and stay with a safe adult. In Saudi Arabia, call 997 for an ongoing or recent attempt that has not received medical assessment, a serious injury, possible poisoning or harmful ingestion, or if you feel you may hurt yourself now or cannot stay safe. A safe adult can help you reach emergency care; do not go alone. Outside Saudi Arabia, use your local emergency number.

For past self-harm or other thoughts that worry you, tell a safe adult so they can help you contact a doctor promptly, or ask 937 for health guidance. If you have a follow-up plan from an earlier assessment, contact the person or team named in it and explain what has changed. In Saudi Arabia, 1919 provides a route to protection from abuse. If you are unsure you can stay safe, get urgent help. You do not have to carry this alone.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I do if my child says they want to end their life now?

Stay with them and seek urgent assessment; do not leave them alone or wait for a routine appointment. In Saudi Arabia, accompany them to the nearest emergency department if travel is safe, or call 997 for an ambulance when there is immediate danger or you cannot keep them safe.

While arranging help, speak calmly. Remove or secure medicines and other things they could use to hurt themselves if you can do so without putting anyone in danger, but do not delay the call to do it. Ask another trusted adult to help if possible, with an adult staying with your child. Tell ambulance or emergency staff what was said and what you noticed, and follow their instructions.

Is my child just saying they want to die for attention?

Do not dismiss it as dramatics or attention-seeking; take the words seriously, even if they seem fleeting. If your child says “I wish I were dead” or “No one would miss me,” pause and ask what they mean, even if it was said during an argument. Being young does not rule out danger. Concerning talk about death needs prompt contact with a pediatrician or family doctor, or 937 for health guidance. If they are thinking about ending their life now, stay with them and seek urgent assessment.

What are the warning signs of suicide in children and teens?

Warning signs include talk of death or being a burden, hopelessness, unusual goodbyes, withdrawal and new or increasing changes in behavior and sleep. A single sign does not establish that a child will attempt suicide, but you do not need to collect a fixed number of signs before seeking help. If safety or the need for urgent medical care is uncertain, do not wait for a routine appointment.

Does asking my child about suicide put the idea in their head?

No. Asking directly about suicide does not plant the idea in someone's mind. Use words your child understands, ask calmly and listen. You might ask a teen: “Were you thinking about suicide or ending your life? Are you thinking about that now?” If they say they are thinking about ending their life now, stay with them and seek urgent assessment. If they deny it, do not treat their answer or calm appearance as sufficient proof of safety; tell the professional what was said.

What should I do if I find out my child is self-harming?

Address any urgent medical or safety need first: in Saudi Arabia, call 997 for a serious injury, possible poisoning or harmful ingestion, or an ongoing or recent suicide attempt not yet medically assessed. Do not wait for symptoms after possible harmful ingestion; stay with your child and follow the team's instructions.

Then ask calmly about current thoughts and seek assessment: self-harm deserves help even when they say they did not want to die, and an injury's appearance alone cannot tell you whether they intended to die. Contact the doctor, or 937 for health guidance, and clearly say the concern involves self-harm. Do not make speaking or promising to stop a condition of receiving help. If they have current thoughts of ending their life, stay with them and seek urgent assessment.

Writing and article review

Alanoud AlturkiWritten byAlanoud Alturki

Content writer and researcher at Tatmeen, writing in Arabic and English on mental health and everyday life topics, including relationships, stress, work, habits, and family.

Tatmeen teamMedical reviewTatmeen team

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