In the 1960s, British psychologist John Bowlby discovered that a special, intense, and distinct relationship develops between a child and just one of their caregivers, most often the mother. This relationship differs from the ordinary bond of love with everyone around the child. After numerous studies of adults, researchers discovered that the special form of love that develops between romantic partners resembles this state and follows the same pattern. This special relationship shapes the child's awareness of their feelings toward themselves, enabling them to regulate the emotional side of their personality, and toward others, enabling them to learn how to form relationships.

For the relationship between the child and caregiver to achieve what we described above, the caregiver must understand how to provide thoughtful, effective care. Otherwise, the child will develop an unhealthy or insecure attachment to the caregiver, leaving them vulnerable to attachment disorder. In this article, we explain attachment disorder in children and its patterns.

What is attachment disorder in children?

The relationship connecting a child to their primary caregiver—usually a parent—begins while the child is still in the mother's womb and has a major influence on the child's mental development. If the child's emotional needs are fully met during infancy, the child develops a secure attachment to the caregiver. If the child is emotionally neglected because of the parents' difficult financial circumstances and inability to meet those needs, or if the child has mental health problems, the attachment to the caregiver will be insecure. Attachment disorder occurs when the bond between the child and caregiver is insecure, which is reflected in symptoms or behaviors the child displays toward people around them.

Symptoms of attachment disorder in children.

  1. Avoiding physical or eye contact with people around them.
  2. Emotional coldness and indifference toward emotions and feelings.
  3. Experiencing episodes of anger.

Types of attachment in childhood.

1. Secure and insecure attachment.

With secure attachment, the child is confident that the caregiver will be present, responsive, and supportive when needed; in other words, the caregiver is warm and kind toward the child. In contrast, with insecure attachment, the child is deprived of maternal and paternal affection even while living with their family. The caregiver is unable to give the child the care and love they need, leaving the child constantly anxious and afraid of separation from the caregiver and inclined to cling excessively to them. This also makes the child anxious about exploring the outside world.

2. Anxious attachment.

With this pattern, the child feels constantly anxious about being away from or losing the caregiver. This is reflected in the child's relationship with a life partner when they grow up, as they remain constantly anxious and tense about losing a loved one or spouse. It is more common among women than men.

3. Avoidant attachment.

This results from the insecure attachment provided by the caregiver, causing the child to grow up avoiding interaction with people around them. In adulthood, this is reflected in avoiding deep relationships. Even if the person marries, the relationship with their partner remains superficial. It is more common among boys and men than women.

4. Fearful attachment.

This pattern makes a person want to be close to others, but as soon as another person comes close, they become afraid of that closeness and pull away.

As parents, we must understand that childhood is a pivotal stage in our children's lives. It remains firmly rooted in their memories as they grow older, and everything that happens during it is reflected in their personalities. We should therefore approach this stage with awareness and understanding, giving them the affection they need and supporting them emotionally as much as possible. This should be done appropriately and within normal limits, without excess or deficiency that could cause them to develop attachment disorder.

To learn more about attachment disorder in children, download Tatmeen's mental health app on Google Play and the App Store, and register on the Tatmeen website to access valuable information and practical tools that support your mental health.