Parents' Mental Health Problems and Their Impact on Children

Absence in the presence of mental illness...

“When will my mother be the way she was again?” That question pierced my heart when a fourth-grade boy with beautiful, tear-filled eyes asked me about his mother, who had experienced an acute psychotic episode and was no longer the mother he had known. At first, she became dangerous, burning the curtains at home and erupting in fits of anger. After psychological treatment, she became socially withdrawn, lost in her thoughts, and unable to care for her children.

How do parents' mental health problems affect their children?

• Parents' mental health problems may have a different effect from physical illnesses because children do not understand the nature of psychological problems and there is limited awareness of their symptoms and effects. This is also due to the stigma that may follow the affected parent and, at times, the family.
• Parents' mental health problems affect children in particular according to the severity and type of problem experienced by one parent. The child's age and stage of development are also important factors in assessing the problem's impact.
• Many parents with mild mental health problems can manage their symptoms and reduce their impact on their children, especially if they are following a psychological treatment program that helps them do so. Sometimes, however, when the psychological problem is severe or accompanied by stressful circumstances and challenges such as divorce or financial difficulties or domestic violence, it affects their ability to cope with family life.
• Some parents with mental health problems may need support in managing the routines of daily life, such as household chores, preparing food, maintaining appropriate bedtimes, handling school requirements, and taking children to medical appointments.
• They may also find it difficult to manage their moods and emotions toward their children, recognize and respond to their children's physical and emotional needs, and engage socially with them.
• If parents do not receive the support they need from family, friends, neighbors, and/or professionals, these challenges may become worse. In extreme cases, children may experience violence and/or abuse and/or neglect.

How can we tell when a child is being negatively affected by a parent's mental health problem?

Unfortunately, some severe mental illnesses can sometimes change a person's personality. When this happens to a father or mother responsible for raising children, the impact on their care and emotional development can be severe. When assessing anyone with a mental disorder, particularly a severe one, it is therefore essential to ask about the parenting role performed by the affected father or mother. We should ask the person and their spouse, and seek to meet their children and ask whether their basic needs are being met, how they feel emotionally, and how they understand the changes that have happened to them: Who helps you study? How is school going? Do you eat hot meals? Are you sometimes subjected to violence?

Signs that a child may need additional psychological support include the following:

• Severe anxiety about their parent's condition.
• The parental caregiving role being taken over completely or permanently by other family members.
• Putting the patient's needs ahead of their own basic needs.
• Having negative feelings (such as shame or denial) about their parent's condition.
• Difficulty forming relationships, feeling isolated, or experiencing bullying.
• Being unable to talk to their parents or a trusted adult about their concerns.

Supporting the parenting role:

The purpose of this assessment is not to deprive a mother or father of their children. It is to understand the level of impairment, if any, and discuss possible solutions to bridge the gap caused by one parent's illness. For example, involving a relative such as an aunt, uncle, or grandmother can help, and sometimes all family members need to be involved.

Supporting a patient's parenting role also has a positive effect on their overall mental health. It is essential to discuss parenting with every patient: Do you have children? What role do you play in their lives each day? How does being with your children affect your psychological symptoms? How do your symptoms affect your interactions with your children? How can we improve this role? These questions help us begin a positive discussion with every mother and father to strengthen a role that may be affected by mental illness.

What can help when a parent has a mental disorder?

• Parents and caregivers recognizing their difficulties and being willing to accept help from others.
•  Receiving help from relatives who can care for the children, as well as from friends and others who can help with household tasks and other matters concerning the children.
• Arranging help to overcome other challenges, such as financial support and protection from domestic violence.
• Receiving additional support from professionals who can also monitor the situation and participate in solutions when necessary, such as teachers and counselors.
• Ensuring that children have a trusted adult from whom they can seek help when needed.
• Providing broader community support and eliminating the stigma associated with mental illness.

What can be offered to support children's own mental health?

• Providing children and young people with accurate information about mental health problems that is appropriate for their age and understanding. This can address any misconceptions or fears they may have and give them the language to express themselves.
• Explaining the psychological difficulties experienced by a parent or caregiver can provide an opportunity for broader discussions about relationships and emotions in general.
• Creating a safe space where children can step away from their parents' problems for a while, allowing them to develop their own thoughts and emotions.