In a shop, your child refuses to leave, sits on the floor and starts crying. First move them away from traffic and anything that could hurt them, then stay nearby. “You want to stay. I'm here, and we're leaving” is enough for now. You do not need a long explanation, or silence in front of other people, to handle the situation safely.
During a tantrum, protect your child and others and help them settle. Teaching what to do next time can wait until they can listen. NHS guidance explains that distressed toddlers struggle to take in new information1: soothing comes before discussion.
What to do now
What is happening
A brief response
Crying and refusing to move on
Move them away from danger, explain what will happen in a few words and help them make the transition when you can do so safely.
Trying to hit or throw something
Separate children and remove dangerous objects. Say, “I won't let you hit.”
Asking for closeness or a cuddle
Offer it if you are calm and can hold them safely.
Rejecting touch
Stay nearby in a safe place without forcing a hug: “I'll sit here.”
You are close to shouting or losing control
Use fewer words and ask a trusted adult to take over if possible, while maintaining supervision.
Watch how your child responds rather than repeating “Calm down” every few seconds. A quieter space may help if you can reach it safely. Do not shake them or forcibly pin them down to stop the crying, or leave them alone somewhere unsafe. Protecting them from immediate danger is different from making them stop crying by force.
If you are alone with another child, you may need to shorten or end the outing. Choose what lets you supervise both, and ask an available trusted person for help. You do not have to finish the shopping to handle this well, or buy the requested toy to leave.
Keep the limit and meet the need
You can refuse to buy a toy while giving a hungry child food or water. If you discover pain or a misunderstanding, change a decision that no longer makes sense. Meeting a need does not mean granting every other request; firmness does not require continuing a mistaken decision.
Your child may keep crying despite your support. That does not show they need more punishment or more words. Tantrums are common1 as toddlers learn to communicate and make choices, sometimes becoming more noticeable around 18 months. They vary between children and do not, by themselves, establish poor parenting or a disorder.
Afterwards: return to the day and teach one thing
As they settle, allow time to recover. They do not need to recount every detail immediately. If they hurt a sibling, attend to the injured child first, then help with an appropriate repair without a forced hug or apology.
Later, choose one skill: “You wanted more time to play. You can ask for one last turn.” Practise asking during calm play, explaining that sometimes you can agree and sometimes there is not enough time. Do not promise that the words will always secure what they want.
Returning to a familiar activity or ordinary care does not need to wait until your child looks remorseful. If you shouted, you can apologise for shouting and restate the limit calmly.
Make the next transition easier
Look at the recurring situation: does the difficulty start when play ends, near a meal or after a long outing? NHS guidance identifies tiredness, hunger and frustration2 as possible factors. Choose a manageable change, such as a shorter trip, bringing what your child needs or giving a clear warning before leaving. You do not need to reorganise the entire family's day.
Before going out, try, “We'll buy two things, then go home.” Before a favourite activity ends: “We leave after this round. Will you carry the ball, or shall I?” Do not offer an extra turn unless you can allow it. A familiar sequence and help getting started give the child something predictable within a transition they dislike.
When more help is needed
Speak with your child's doctor if they repeatedly hurt themselves or others3, or tantrums disrupt family or nursery life. Communication difficulties or loss of a previously acquired skill4 also call for assessment rather than waiting for discipline to resolve them. Bring examples of situations and what helps, without treating age or the length of a tantrum alone as a diagnosis.
If you cannot maintain safety, seek urgent help to protect your child and others. You do not need to wait for a particular age or an injury before discussing concerns.
If your child loses consciousness5, has severe difficulty breathing or has a serious injury, call an ambulance immediately on 997 in Saudi Arabia6. These signs need medical action, not a wait for the tantrum to end.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I handle my toddler's tantrum while it is happening?
Protect your child and others first: move them away from traffic and anything that could hurt them, then stay nearby. A few words are enough, such as “You want to stay. I'm here, and we're leaving.” Distressed toddlers struggle to take in new information, so teaching can wait until they can listen. Watch how they respond rather than repeating “Calm down”, and do not shake them, forcibly pin them down or leave them alone somewhere unsafe.
Is it normal for toddlers to have tantrums?
Yes. Tantrums are common as toddlers learn to communicate and make choices, and they sometimes become more noticeable around 18 months. They vary between children and do not, by themselves, establish poor parenting or a disorder. Your child may keep crying despite your support; that does not show they need more punishment or more words.
Should I buy what my toddler wants to stop the crying?
You do not have to buy the requested toy to leave, and you may shorten or end the outing instead. You can keep the limit and still meet a real need: refuse the toy while giving a hungry child food or water. If you discover pain or a misunderstanding, change a decision that no longer makes sense; firmness does not require continuing a mistaken decision.
What should I do after my toddler's tantrum is over?
Allow time to recover, and do not ask them to recount every detail immediately. If they hurt a sibling, attend to the injured child first, then help with an appropriate repair without a forced hug or apology. Later, teach one skill, such as asking for one last turn. Ordinary care does not need to wait until they look remorseful, and if you shouted, you can apologise and restate the limit calmly.
When should I see a doctor about my toddler's tantrums?
Speak with your child's doctor if they repeatedly hurt themselves or others, or tantrums disrupt family or nursery life. Communication difficulties or loss of a previously acquired skill also call for assessment rather than waiting for discipline to resolve them.
If you cannot maintain safety, seek urgent help to protect your child and others; you do not need to wait for a particular age or an injury before discussing concerns. If your child loses consciousness, has severe difficulty breathing or has a serious injury, call an ambulance immediately on 997 in Saudi Arabia. These signs need medical action, not a wait for the tantrum to end.
Content writer and researcher at Tatmeen, writing in Arabic and English about mental health and everyday life, from relationships and stress to work, habits, and family.
Every Tatmeen article is reviewed by care providers licensed by the Saudi Commission for Health Specialties, so what you read is accurate and trustworthy.
This article builds understanding and does not replace a licensed care provider.
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First move them away from traffic and anything that could hurt them, then stay nearby. “You want to stay. I'm here, and we're leaving” is enough for now. You do not need a long explanation, or silence in front of other people, to handle the situation safely.</p>\n<p>During a tantrum, protect your child and others and help them settle. Teaching what to do next time can wait until they can listen. NHS guidance explains that distressed toddlers <a href=\"https://www.nhs.uk/best-start-in-life/toddler/help-your-toddler-with-their-emotions/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">struggle to take in new information</a>: soothing comes before discussion.</p>\n<h2 id=\"article-section-what-to-do-now\" data-toc-heading tabindex=\"-1\"><span id=\"what-to-do-now-1\" aria-hidden=\"true\"></span>What to do now</h2>\n<div class=\"table-block\"><table>\n<thead>\n<tr>\n<th>What is happening</th>\n<th>A brief response</th>\n</tr>\n</thead>\n<tbody>\n<tr>\n<td>Crying and refusing to move on</td>\n<td>Move them away from danger, explain what will happen in a few words and help them make the transition when you can do so safely.</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Trying to hit or throw something</td>\n<td>Separate children and remove dangerous objects. Say, “I won't let you hit.”</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Asking for closeness or a cuddle</td>\n<td>Offer it if you are calm and can hold them safely.</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>Rejecting touch</td>\n<td>Stay nearby in a safe place without forcing a hug: “I'll sit here.”</td>\n</tr>\n<tr>\n<td>You are close to shouting or losing control</td>\n<td>Use fewer words and ask a trusted adult to take over if possible, while maintaining supervision.</td>\n</tr>\n</tbody>\n</table></div>\n<p>Watch how your child responds rather than repeating “Calm down” every few seconds. A quieter space may help if you can reach it safely. Do not shake them or forcibly pin them down to stop the crying, or leave them alone somewhere unsafe. Protecting them from immediate danger is different from making them stop crying by force.</p>\n<p>If you are alone with another child, you may need to shorten or end the outing. Choose what lets you supervise both, and ask an available trusted person for help. 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They vary between children and do not, by themselves, establish poor parenting or a disorder.</p>\n<h2 id=\"article-section-afterwards-return-to-the-day-and-teach-one-thing\" data-toc-heading tabindex=\"-1\"><span id=\"afterwards-return-to-the-day-and-teach-one-thing-3\" aria-hidden=\"true\"></span>Afterwards: return to the day and teach one thing</h2>\n<p>As they settle, allow time to recover. They do not need to recount every detail immediately. If they hurt a sibling, attend to the injured child first, then help with an appropriate repair without a forced hug or apology.</p>\n<p>Later, choose one skill: “You wanted more time to play. You can ask for one last turn.” Practise asking during calm play, explaining that sometimes you can agree and sometimes there is not enough time. Do not promise that the words will always secure what they want.</p>\n<p>Returning to a familiar activity or ordinary care does not need to wait until your child looks remorseful. If you shouted, you can apologise for shouting and restate the limit calmly.</p>\n<h2 id=\"article-section-make-the-next-transition-easier\" data-toc-heading tabindex=\"-1\"><span id=\"make-the-next-transition-easier-4\" aria-hidden=\"true\"></span>Make the next transition easier</h2>\n<p>Look at the recurring situation: does the difficulty start when play ends, near a meal or after a long outing? NHS guidance identifies <a href=\"https://www.nhs.uk/baby/babys-development/behaviour/temper-tantrums/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">tiredness, hunger and frustration</a> as possible factors. Choose a manageable change, such as a shorter trip, bringing what your child needs or giving a clear warning before leaving. You do not need to reorganise the entire family's day.</p>\n<p>Before going out, try, “We'll buy two things, then go home.” Before a favourite activity ends: “We leave after this round. Will you carry the ball, or shall I?” Do not offer an extra turn unless you can allow it. A familiar sequence and help getting started give the child something predictable within a transition they dislike.</p>\n<h2 id=\"article-section-when-more-help-is-needed\" data-toc-heading tabindex=\"-1\"><span id=\"when-more-help-is-needed-5\" aria-hidden=\"true\"></span>When more help is needed</h2>\n<p>Speak with your child's doctor if they <a href=\"https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Temper_Tantrums-136.aspx\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">repeatedly hurt themselves or others</a>, or tantrums disrupt family or nursery life. Communication difficulties or <a href=\"https://www.cdc.gov/act-early/milestones/2-years.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">loss of a previously acquired skill</a> also call for assessment rather than waiting for discipline to resolve them. Bring examples of situations and what helps, without treating age or the length of a tantrum alone as a diagnosis.</p>\n<p>If you cannot maintain safety, seek urgent help to protect your child and others. 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