Am I Narcissistic Toward Those Around Me?

Understanding the particular nature of our thinking and behavior and how we interact with others is important, especially when discussing narcissistic personality, which is characterized by excessive self-focus, inflated vanity and intense concern with outward appearances.

In this article, we will explain whether your personality reflects narcissistic traits by exploring the patterns and signs associated with narcissistic personality, so that you can later address the issue and rid yourself of these negative traits.

What is the definition of narcissistic personality, and what causes it?

Narcissism is defined as a type of personality-related mental disorder characterized by a sense of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. A narcissistic personality is characterized by the following:

1. A grand sense of self-importance and a preoccupation with fantasies of success, power, intelligence or beauty.
2. A belief in being special and unique.
3. A need for excessive admiration.
4. An exaggerated sense of entitlement.
5. Exploitative behavior toward people.
6. Limited empathy for others.
7. Arrogant behavior or attitudes.

There is no single identified cause of narcissistic personality, but several factors may contribute to its development. Understanding these causes can identify the original roots of narcissistic personality and help you address it later. These factors include:

Genetic factors

Genetic factors may influence the development of narcissistic personality. Some people may inherit from their mother or father a tendency toward boasting and excessive self-confidence. Astudy(Song H et al., 2014) conducted in 2014 and involving 304 pairs of twins found that some traits of narcissistic personality disorder were indeed heritable.

Unhealthy parenting

Unhealthy parenting can be one of the most prominent causes, as childhood experiences and an unhealthy family upbringing can significantly affect the development of narcissistic personality. For example, when a child experiences parental neglect at an early age, they may develop a sense of insignificance and seek praise and self-validation as they grow older.

The findings of astudy(McLean, 2007) indicated that narcissistic personality disorder results from a lack of empathy fromparentsduring the child’s development. Consequently, the person cannot develop sufficient capacity to achieve self-respect and self-esteem.

The social environment

The social environment also plays a role in the development of narcissistic personality. For example, societies that encourage intense competition and glorify personal success may encourage its development. The findings of astudy(Roepke S et al., 2018) indicated that narcissism scores were higher in individualistic cultures, which focus more on each person’s rights and goals, than in collectivist cultures, which focus more on what is best for the group as a whole.

What are the traits of a narcissistic personality?

To help you determine whether you have a narcissistic personality, here are the most common narcissistic traits. Remember that these traits may not all be present in every narcissistic person. In either case, narcissistic traits may negatively affect your social interactions and relationships.

Some of these common traits include:

• Arrogance:This is a defining trait of narcissistic personality and involves excessive vanity and a belief in being superior to others. A narcissistic person believes they are unique and superior and deserve distinction, respect and appreciation. They also believe they possess unrivaled skills and abilities and expect recognition and appreciation of their status. They see themselves as the most important person in their surroundings and assert themselves, including by talking about personal or professional achievements.
• Self-absorption:Intense self-focus is a trait of narcissistic personality. A narcissistic person sees themselves as the central figure in their environment and devotes great attention to personal needs and desires while ignoring the needs and feelings of others. They view the world from their own perspective, promote themselves, consider themselves the most important and best in every respect, and pursue their personal interests without concern for others.
• Insistence on achieving goals:A narcissistic person tends to be demanding and intent on getting what they want, whether in relation to personal needs, professional achievements, recognition or appreciation. They feel absolutely entitled to receive everything they want and may be excessively demanding, expecting their wishes and needs to be met without considering the wishes of others. They believe they deserve the best and expect others to fulfill their demands and desires without hesitation.
• Difficulty empathizing with others:This is another narcissistic trait. It means being unable to understand or respond deeply to the feelings and needs of others. A narcissistic person may completely ignore or dismiss other people’s feelings and consider them unimportant orweak, because they are intensely preoccupied with themselves and their personal needs. This leaves them unable to understand other people’s situations or share their feelings and emotions, negatively affecting those in direct contact with them.
• A lack of gratitude:Feeling grateful and appreciative for blessings, opportunities or what others provide—whether material gifts or emotional support—is healthy and can foster positive feelings, affection and love between people. For a narcissistic person, however, a lack of gratitude toward others and events is one of their negative traits. They may believe they deserve everything, making it difficult to view what they receive—whether emotional support, gifts or any form of help—as an expression of kindness or generosity from others. Instead, they may consider it an entitlement, which can lead to poor reactions to the events and people around them.

As you explore narcissistic traits and try to determine whether you have them, remember that narcissism is not an untreatable condition. It is a broad spectrum of traits and behaviors that can appear in people to varying degrees. If some narcissistic traits match your behavior and thoughts, acknowledging them may be helpful, as this is the first step toward achieving greater balance in your personality.

If you feel that you are struggling with narcissism, you are advised to speak with a psychological counselor or therapist. You can do so by downloadingthe Tatmeen app, which will help you develop humility and empathy and accept other people’s ideas and opinions, enabling you to achieve balance, communicate healthily, and develop healthy, lasting relationships.

References

1- Luo YL, et al. A behavioral genetic study of intrapersonal and interpersonal dimensions of narcissism. PLoS One. 2014 Apr 2;9(4):e93403. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0093403.

2- McLean J. Psychotherapy with a narcissistic patient using Kohut’s self-psychology model. Psychiatry. 2007;4(10):40-47.

3- Vater A, et al. Does a narcissism epidemic exist in modern western societies? Comparing narcissism and self-esteem in East and West Germany. PLoS One. 2018 Jan 24;13(1):e0188287. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0188287. Erratum in: PLoS One. 2018 May 29;13(5):e0198386.