Sibling Jealousy: Causes and Ways to Respond

Jealousy is a natural feeling, so it is natural for a child to feel and express it. Although jealousy among children can be exhausting for parents, it is a valuable opportunity to teach children values related to difference and individuality. Some parents make common mistakes when dealing with jealousy among their children because they do not know how they are supposed to respond to it.

Causes of jealousy among children and ways to address it

Accordingly, we will present several common mistakes alongside appropriate ways to respond to jealousy among children:

1. When a new child joins the family:

Some parents hide their love for the baby so that the older sibling will not feel upset. The right approach, however, is to express their love for the baby in front of the older sibling and talk about how much they love both children. They can explain that they spend most of their time with the baby because the baby needs help to grow, just as they cared for the older child when that child was small.

2. Treating jealousy as a negative word and avoiding mentioning it in front of children:

Parents may do this so that children do not become upset or more jealous, but this is a mistaken approach. It is important to explain to children that jealousy is a natural feeling and that their parents understand it arises from the child's desire to be special and have needs and belongings all their own. Sometimes the child may prefer to have both parents entirely to themselves and receive all their attention. This desire is natural, but it cannot be fulfilled.

3. Some parents repeatedly use the word "jealousy" in front of their children:

They attribute every inappropriate behavior to jealousy, legitimize it, and feel sorry for the child. This is a mistaken approach because it reinforces the child's feeling of jealousy. It is important to remember that children are born with tremendous inner strengths that enable them to cope with all kinds of difficulties. When we validate a child's feeling of jealousy, we should teach the child how to express it in words, such as: "I feel jealous because my brother does nice things, and I want to do the same," or "I do not like you doing everything the same way I do, because I prefer to be special."

4. Beware of comparing your children:

At the same time, do not be afraid to praise one sibling in front of another when that child does something deserving of praise and encouragement. Children should be taught that each of them is special in their own way and distinguished by being different from others.

When parents praise one of their children, they should not say anything about the other children. They should simply say that this child excels in a particular area and that the other children also have qualities that distinguish them. When those qualities appear, they will be praised for them. When siblings have gaps in their abilities, some parents feel sorry for the child with fewer abilities and try to protect that child. Unfortunately, this increases the child's sensitivity and reinforces a sense of weakness.

It is important for parents to remember that jealousy among children is a natural feeling that children experience and that addressing it requires patience and an understanding of the jealous child's fear of losing their parents' love and attention. If parents respond to it appropriately, they will help the child develop a strong personality capable of engaging with society and facing its challenges.

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