How Can I Keep My Child from Becoming Spoiled?

I will describe a scene that recurs in some homes. Every mother and father who recognizes this scene should realize that they have been raising a spoiled child and that this child, upon reaching adulthood, will become a societal disaster. Through this scene, you can recognize the characteristics and traits of a spoiled child. It is a scene that should warn you against creating a spoiled child in your own home.

Characteristics of a spoiled child

A young man or woman in the prime of life and in excellent health lives in their parents' home. They wake up in the morning and leave their bed unmade because their mother will take care of it. They change their clothes and leave them scattered in any corner to be washed because their mother will collect, wash, iron, and return them to the room. Food is served ready for them to eat, and neither before nor afterward do they trouble themselves to wash a cup or plate, because their mother will take care of everything this involves. They go to school or university and return to sleep, stay up using Snapchat, Twitter, or Instagram, or watch consecutive episodes of a new series. Ready-made meals are served in between, and all they need to do is “take a break” and reach out to eat before returning to the screen of their phone, iPad, or laptop.

Sometimes, in their free time, they may graciously sit with the rest of the family, but of course they do not forget to keep looking at their phone so they can remain present and close to the friends with whom they spend most of their time. They do not want to miss a comment, photo, or chance to pry into what others are doing. They make no contribution and take no part in any household responsibility, however small. They leave places untidy and become annoyed if they do not like dinner. If they notice something in the house that needs repair or replacement, they pass by as swiftly as a cloud, assuming that maintenance is their father's responsibility, just as cleaning and tidying are solely their mother's responsibility. End of scene.

Negative parenting and the spoiled child

I reflected on what I see around me and reached one conclusion: the previous scene reveals not only the characteristics of a spoiled child but also negative parenting methods that create fertile ground for raising one. I believe we have therefore succeeded in creating a dependent generation—yes, a generation that excels at dependency. We now have a generation whose members mostly behave as though they were guests in their own homes. They neither help nor contribute nor take responsibility for anything around them, from childhood through adulthood and even after obtaining a job. They live in their parents' home as guests and know nothing of responsibility beyond their personal spending money and obtaining a driver's license. The mother and father remain burdened with responsibilities even as they grow older and physically weaker, all because parents are determined not to burden their children with life's responsibilities.

How can I keep my child from becoming spoiled?

Appreciation and taking responsibility are values that you instill in your children through parenting. They do not suddenly appear, not even after marriage, because children will carry the dependent culture they learned in their parents' home into their marital home. This culture of dependency will produce only a generation that can never be relied upon to build a home or family or take responsibility for children. Is this how you were raised in your family's home? If so, what were the results of your upbringing?

Dear parents, getting your children used to taking on some household responsibilities is the way to raise an unspoiled child. It helps build their character and creates a socially responsible generation. Taking responsibility makes them stronger, helps them face what will come in the future, enables you to rely on them, and helps them think about others. This makes them less selfish and more appreciative and effective in their homes and surroundings, and later in their jobs and society. By contrast, depending on you or others makes them lazier, weaker, and more superficial and does not prepare them for the future. How can a dependent person establish an independent and stable family? We then wonder about the rising divorce rates among today's generation and ask, “Why do they have no patience?”

Raising a child, whether male or female, to work hard for the family and bear life's difficulties is a skill the child first learns from their parents. Parents must therefore understand that if they do not teach their children to take responsibility from a young age, life, with its experiences and harsh circumstances, will do so. But life's lessons will be shocking, late, less compassionate, and harsher than yours. As parents, we are responsible for teaching our children how to be responsible so that we can help them through life rather than make life harder for them. Do not raise your son or daughter to be a guest in your home; raise them to be a source of support.

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