Skip to main content
HomeSpecialistsBusinessBlogContact us
العربيةFor care providersBook a session
Skip to article text

How to support someone who refuses mental health help

Sultan AlmuhasinMedical review: Tatmeen team9 min read
ظرف مغلق وبطاقة عليها شخصان، أحدهما يضع يده على كتف الآخر، مع قلب وزهرة وأغصان ورقية.
Article contents
  1. When is urgent help needed?
  2. Start with what you have noticed, then ask
  3. Find out what is behind the refusal
  4. What can you do if they still refuse?
  5. Set limits you can keep
  6. Frequently Asked Questions
  7. Sources and references
  8. Writer and reviewer

If you are worried about a relative or friend who says, “I do not need help,” start with what you have noticed, listen to their explanation, and offer a step they can choose. Refusing help does not, on its own, mean they are ill or unable to understand their situation. They may disagree with you, worry about the experience, or face barriers such as cost and time. You can keep supporting them1 even if they do not agree to an appointment.

When is urgent help needed?

If the person is in immediate danger, seek emergency help now. In Saudi Arabia, call an ambulance on 997 if they are at risk of harming themselves now or have a medical emergency. Also seek emergency help3 if a suicide attempt, overdose or serious self-inflicted injury happened recently and the event has not been medically assessed, even if they seem calmer. If you suspect an overdose8 and they have not had a medical assessment, call an ambulance4. Do not wait to confirm it, for symptoms to appear, or for their agreement to a routine appointment.

Stay with them until help arrives2 if it is safe for you to do so. If they threaten you or someone else, move to a safe place and call security patrols on 9994. Do not try to restrain them or forcibly take something from them.

If they mention suicide or harming themselves, ask directly, “Are you thinking about suicide?” Take what they say seriously and seek urgent professional help. Do not promise to keep a danger to their life secret. If suicidal thoughts are present right now, seek urgent assessment immediately9 and stay with them while seeking help if it is safe for you. If immediate assessment is unavailable, seek help at an emergency department. Do not delay help while waiting for them to agree to a routine appointment. Seek an urgent assessment if their condition is deteriorating severely too; you do not need to wait for a diagnosis. You can call the Ministry of Health's 937 service for medical consultation and health guidance5 around the clock. If urgent assessment is unavailable and waiting is unsafe, seek emergency help3. If there is immediate danger, contact emergency services straight away2 without waiting for a response from 937.

Start with what you have noticed, then ask

Choose a calm time and somewhere you can speak privately. Describe what you actually saw or heard1, explain what concerned you, and ask how they see it. You do not need to diagnose someone to express concern7.

In this hypothetical example, someone is talking to their brother:

You: “You told me your sleep has been broken, and that you were late for work more than once this week. I am worried about you. How are things going?”

Your brother: “It is work stress. I do not want every problem treated as a mental illness.”

You: “I hear that you see work stress as the cause. I am still concerned about your broken sleep and being late for work. What might help you right now?”

His explanation differs from yours, and it deserves to be heard. Ask what he is facing and give him time to answer. You may find that your observations were incomplete, or that there is a concern he did not know how to explain. The conversation does not have to end with him admitting you were right.

If the discussion becomes an argument, you can pause: “I do not want to pressure you. We can stop now, and I am here if you want to talk later.” Pausing gives you both a chance to speak when things are calmer. Urgent danger still requires the help described above, even if the person is not ready to discuss it.

Find out what is behind the refusal

Instead of repeating, “You need to see someone,” ask, “What worries you about getting help?” They may be concerned about cost, sharing personal information or medication6. They may have had a previous experience of feeling unheard. Listen to the reason they give1 and ask what they would need to consider another step.

Choose an offer that fits the barrier they have described. Make one relevant offer and give them the chance to accept or decline it:

What they say A practical offer you could make
“I do not know what will happen at the appointment.” “Would you like us to write down your questions and ask the service what the first appointment involves before booking?”
“I cannot afford it.” “Would you like us to ask about the appointment cost and insurance cover, and look for an option you can afford?”
“It is hard to get there or leave my responsibilities.” “I can drive you, or take care of a task we agree on during the appointment, if that would help.”
“I do not want other people to know.” “Would you like us to ask the service who can access your information and when it might be shared?”
“I tried before and it did not help.” “What troubled you about that experience? If you want, we can look for another professional who fits what you need, including language and communication.”
“I do not want medication.” “Would you like to ask the professional about the proposed options, their benefits and their risks before deciding?”

Asking about experience, approach, cost and privacy limits6 helps them understand what is being offered. Do not promise that every service will suit them or that treatment will take one particular form.

If they agree to look for help or attend an appointment, agree on exactly what they want from you1: gathering information, calling the service together, or accompanying them. Ask whether they want you inside or outside the appointment. Get their agreement before booking a routine appointment, sharing their information or involving another relative. Accompanying them7 is a way to support them: give them space to speak for themselves and add your observations if they want you to.

What can you do if they still refuse?

Avoid turning every meeting into another attempt to persuade them to book. You might say, “I respect that you do not want an appointment now, and I still care about you. Would it be okay if I checked in tomorrow?” If they agree, choose a time and way to stay in touch. If they do not want to talk, leave the door open without repeatedly messaging them.

They may welcome a different kind of help1: a meal, a lift, or time together. Ask what would suit them and offer what you can, without making support conditional on attending treatment. Everyday help and continued contact7 are still possible when they refuse an appointment.

If you remain concerned, you can seek guidance for yourself from a professional or medical advice through 9375. Explain what you have noticed and what worries you, and ask how to respond. This advice supports you in your role; it does not mean diagnosing the absent person or starting treatment on their behalf. If an urgent concern arises, seek the appropriate help without waiting for them to change their mind about routine appointments.

Set limits you can keep

Be clear about the help you can offer1 and the time you have. For example: “I can help you look for care and come with you to an appointment we agree on. I also need time for sleep and work.” Avoid promising to be available7 all the time if you cannot keep that promise.

Seek support for yourself if worry or the demands of helping are affecting your life. You can talk to a professional about what you are finding difficult, or agree with the person on involving someone who can support you both. You do not have to provide all the support alone, accept threats or put yourself in danger to show that you care. If you are threatened, put your safety first and seek help from a safe place.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I convince someone to get mental health help?

Instead of repeating, “You need to see someone,” ask, “What worries you about getting help?” They may be concerned about cost, sharing personal information or medication. Listen to the reason they give, then make one offer that fits that barrier, such as asking about costs or going with them, and give them the chance to accept or decline it. Refusing help does not, on its own, mean they are ill.

How do I tell someone I'm worried about their mental health?

Choose a calm time and somewhere you can speak privately. Describe what you actually saw or heard, explain what concerned you, and ask how they see it; you do not need to diagnose them to express concern. If their explanation differs from yours, listen and give them time to answer. The conversation does not have to end with them admitting you were right. If it becomes an argument, you can pause and offer to talk later.

What can I do if they still refuse help?

Avoid turning every meeting into another attempt to persuade them. You might say, “I respect that you do not want an appointment now, and I still care about you. Would it be okay if I checked in tomorrow?” Offer other help, such as a meal, a lift or time together, without making support conditional on attending treatment. If you remain concerned, you can seek guidance for yourself from a professional or medical advice through 937. If an urgent concern arises, seek the appropriate help without waiting for them to change their mind about routine appointments.

When should I call emergency services if they might harm themselves?

If they are in immediate danger, seek emergency help now. In Saudi Arabia, call an ambulance on 997 if they are at risk of harming themselves now or have a medical emergency. Also seek emergency help if a suicide attempt, overdose or serious self-inflicted injury happened recently without a medical assessment, even if they seem calmer. If you suspect an overdose that has not been medically assessed, call an ambulance without waiting to confirm it, for symptoms to appear, or for their agreement to a routine appointment.

Stay with them until help arrives if it is safe for you. If they threaten you or someone else, move to a safe place and call security patrols on 999. Do not try to restrain them or forcibly take something from them.

What should I do if they talk about suicide?

Ask directly, “Are you thinking about suicide?” Take what they say seriously and seek urgent professional help. Do not promise to keep a danger to their life secret. If suicidal thoughts are present right now, seek urgent assessment immediately and stay with them while seeking help if it is safe for you. If immediate assessment is unavailable, seek help at an emergency department. Do not delay help while waiting for them to agree to a routine appointment.

Writing and article review

Sultan AlmuhasinWritten bySultan Almuhasin

Content writer and researcher at Tatmeen, working on Arabic and English articles across mental health and everyday life topics, including relationships, stress, work, habits, and family.

Tatmeen teamMedical reviewTatmeen team

Every Tatmeen article is reviewed by care providers licensed by the Saudi Commission for Health Specialties, so what you read is accurate and trustworthy.

How we write and reviewSpotted an error? Tell us

This article builds understanding and does not replace a licensed care provider.

Need someone to talk to?

Tatmeen's licensed care providers are available around the clock, and the app's urgent consultation connects you with one within minutes.

Talk to a care provider

In immediate danger?

If you or someone you know is in danger, call an ambulance on 997 or go to the nearest emergency department.

Emergency numbers

Was this article helpful?

Add us to Google
All articles

Talk to a care provider

Your session, remotely and your way: voice, video or text.

  • Licensed by the Saudi Commission for Health Specialties
  • Available around the clock
  • Complete privacy and confidentiality
All care providers

One step for you, start now

Download Tatmeen to explore care providers and booking options.

  • Smart matchingFour quick questions suggest the right care provider
  • Urgent consultationTalk to an available care provider within minutes
  • Free psychological measuresMore than 20 tests to understand how you are doing

Scan to download