How Can I Develop My Child’s Emotional Intelligence?

7 January 2024

5 minutes

Reviewed by:

Last reviewed: 11 August 2026

Three children gather around a globe in a classroom

Emotional intelligence is defined as a person’s ability to understand the feelings of others and recognize how each action may affect them. When someone can understand another person’s feelings, especially those of children, this enables them to recognize their own feelings, learn how to deal with them, and work on managing them. This can help them move toward success, not only for themselves but also for those around them, because an emotionally intelligent person continually seeks to make others happy.

What are a child’s emotional intelligence skills?

Emotional self-awareness

This means a person’s ability to identify what they are feeling in the present moment and how that feeling affects their thoughts and actions.

Managing emotions

The ability to regulate and balance emotions so that a person can keep them from escalating and causing distress. This ability may help reduce fear before an exam or support an appropriate response to the end of a relationship, such as sadness rather than despair or suicidal thoughts.

Increasing motivation to achieve goals

The ability to use feelings such as enthusiasm and belief in a goal to achieve it, and to delay desires in order to remain focused on that goal.

Recognizing emotions

The ability to read other people and recognize their feelings. This may help a person engage in social conversation and increase their ability to interact smoothly with others.

Managing social relationships

This ability includes managing social skills, expressing emotions in a balanced way, exercising self-control, and empathizing with others.

How to develop a child’s emotional intelligence:

By respecting their feelings

This can be done by speaking to them in ways that affirm respect for their feelings, such as, “You must have felt insulted when he called you stupid. You must have been frightened when you heard the neighbor shouting.”

Guiding the child to connect with their feelings

To do this, we can say, “Are you upset because your father traveled?” or “Are you sad because they did not agree to let you go with your friends?”

By helping them find positive solutions for dealing with negative emotions

“Could you play with your toys until you calm down, then you and your friend can go back to playing nicely together?”

Read also:Jealousy among children

As parents, it is important to recognize that academic intelligence is not the only factor in raising a successful child. Academic intelligence is important for academic success and helps us pass exams, but it does not enable us to overcome feelings of stress about an exam, nor does it guarantee professional and social success—that is, success in building healthy and stable relationships with classmates or colleagues. This is where the importance of emotional intelligence becomes clear.

Emotional intelligence therefore helps a person balance thoughts and feelings so they can solve personal problems, whether emotional or related to social relationships. It also enables them to understand and recognize their feelings, helping them regulate those feelings no matter how difficult they are. Social intelligence is an acquired ability that can be developed at any time, particularly during early childhood.


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