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Teaching your child about body privacy and safety

Alanoud AlturkiMedical review: Tatmeen team12 min read
طفلان جالسان على سجادة، وخلفهما ظلال طفل وطفلة ورموز كتاب ودرع وقلب وأسرة.
Article contents
  1. Starting a conversation about bodies and privacy
  2. Teach boundaries through words and actions
  3. Questions about pregnancy and birth
  4. When does touching or sexual behaviour need assessment?
  5. If your child tells you something worrying: what to do now
  6. Keeping protection part of everyday life
  7. Frequently Asked Questions
  8. Sources and references
  9. Writer and reviewer

Your child may ask about a body part while you help them get dressed, or about a new baby in the family. Listen to the question first, then give a simple answer they can understand. In early childhood and the first years of school, these conversations begin with body-part names, hygiene, privacy and asking for help.

Your actions matter too: explain before helping with personal care, respect their choice to greet someone without a hug, and listen when something worries them. Keeping children safe is adults' responsibility. A child is never responsible for abuse because they did not say “no,” move away, or tell someone sooner.

If your child tells you about a boundary being crossed, or you suspect they have been harmed, go to the protection steps and help in Saudi Arabia. You do not need a complete account or certainty about what happened before protecting them.

Starting a conversation about bodies and privacy

Choose an ordinary moment, such as getting dressed or preparing for a bath, and keep the explanation brief. Use accurate body-part names3, such as penis and vulva, rather than insulting or mocking names. Introduce each name when it is needed; your child does not have to memorise a list of body parts.

You might say: “The parts covered by your underwear are private. Tell me if you have a question, pain, or something you did not understand.” Teach modesty and keeping private parts covered, while making clear that asking you for help is welcome. Body privacy does not mean keeping harm secret1.

If you do not understand the question, ask what your child means. If you do not know the answer, say you will find out, then come back with an answer. Do not scold them simply for asking.

For a child beginning to talk, a short explanation repeated when needed may be enough. As they enter school, use familiar situations: help with toileting, visiting relatives, or being asked for a photo during an online game. Ask what they have understood and leave room for questions. If speaking is difficult, use the way your child usually communicates. Ask the professional who supports them how to teach your child to request help1.

Teach boundaries through words and actions

“You can say hello or wave.” If your child does not want a hug or kiss when visiting relatives, help them greet people politely without forcing physical contact3. Stop tickling when asked, and teach them to stop too if another child does not want to play or be touched.

“No one should ask to see or touch your private parts as a game or in return for a gift.” No one should ask you to touch their private parts, either. This applies even to someone your child knows or loves. It also applies to photos and video calls: teach them not to send photos of private parts and to tell you about a confusing or threatening request. Make clear that you will help even if they have already sent a photo or initially agreed.

“Tell me if someone asks you to keep a secret about your body, a touch or a photo.” Your child does not have to feel afraid or know that something was wrong before telling you. They may not understand the situation, or may love the person who crossed the boundary. Help them identify more than one adult1 they can turn to, such as a parent, a safe relative or a teacher. If the first person does not listen or help, they can tell someone else.

You can say: “If you did not know what to do at the time, you can tell me afterwards. I will not blame you for what someone else did.” Teaching refusal and help-seeking can be useful, but a child's silence or agreement never makes abuse acceptable.

What about washing or a medical examination?

Your child may need help with hygiene or an examination of a private part because of a health problem. Explain why the help is needed and what will happen. Listen to questions or complaints of pain, and protect their privacy. Do not ask them to keep this care secret from the people responsible for protecting them.

At a clinic, ask for the examination to be explained beforehand. Discuss having a safe support person or a member of the healthcare team present for an examination of private parts, according to the child's age and needs. Medical examinations also need explanation and respect for the child's privacy. If an examination is needed because abuse is suspected, leave it to the specialist team. Do not examine your child or photograph private parts yourself to prove what happened. Medical guidance9 emphasises safety and reducing fear and distress during examination15.

Questions about pregnancy and birth

Start with what your child wants to know, without turning a short question into a long lesson. These examples are for parents; choose what fits your child's question, age and understanding:

  • “Where does a baby grow before it is born?” — “Inside the mother's body, in an organ called the uterus, or womb. It is not in the stomach where food goes.”
  • “How does a baby start growing?” — “A tiny cell from the father, called a sperm, joins with a cell from the mother, called an egg. The developing embryo then settles in the uterus2 and grows there.”
  • “How does the baby come out?” — “The baby comes out of the uterus through a canal called the vagina7. Sometimes the baby is born by an operation called a caesarean section8. The doctor delivers the baby through an opening in the mother's abdomen and uterus.”

After answering, ask whether that was what they wanted to know. These early conversations do not need a detailed explanation of marital intimacy, and you should not show sexual pictures or videos. If a question is difficult to explain, ask a paediatrician for help choosing accurate words your child can understand, then return to it. Do not scold your child or leave them without an answer.

Before puberty, gradually prepare your child for body changes and personal care in a way that fits their development. Do not wait until an unexplained change frightens them. If a question concerns something they saw or something someone asked them to do, listen to what happened and seek protection when needed.

When does touching or sexual behaviour need assessment?

A young child may touch their genitals out of curiosity or to soothe themselves3. This alone does not mean adult-like sexual desire or prove that they have been abused. Respond calmly, remind them about privacy, and redirect them to another activity: “Those parts of your body are private. Let's get back to playing.” If there is pain, seek medical assessment to find the cause.

Seek specialist assessment if the behaviour:

  • Involves coercion or threats, or causes pain or harm.
  • Repeatedly disrupts play or everyday life, or persists despite calm redirection.
  • Includes sexual acts that do not fit the child's developmental level.
  • Involves children with a marked difference in development or ability.

These are reasons to get help3, not a way to diagnose the cause at home4.

Start with a paediatrician or a mental-health professional experienced in child development and these behaviours. If you do not know where to start, ask the Ministry of Health on 93714 for medical guidance. Suspected harm to a child needs protection and reporting; do not postpone it until an assessment appointment.

If one child crosses another child's body boundaries, stop the behaviour and separate them calmly without humiliation. If there was coercion or harm, or you are concerned it could happen again, increase supervision and seek specialist guidance to protect every child involved. The child who displayed harmful behaviour also needs assessment and help4, without being stigmatised or assumed to pose a lifelong risk to others.

Being close in age does not rule out abuse. Nor does an absence of pain or crying, or a child appearing comfortable, prove that what happened was safe. A professional needs to understand the situation, any pressure or coercion, and differences in the children's development and abilities4. Do not wait for a physical sign15 before taking protection concerns seriously.

If your child tells you something worrying: what to do now

Your child may say one sentence and then fall silent. Do not press them to give every detail before helping them.

Getting help in Saudi Arabia

  • An assault is happening or there is a direct security threat: move with the child to a safe place if you can. Call unified security operations on 911 in the Makkah, Madinah, Riyadh and Eastern regions, or the police on 999 in the rest of Saudi Arabia16.
  • A medical emergency: call an ambulance on 9975.
  • Recent sexual assault: go to the emergency department at the nearest hospital for urgent medical assessment15, even without a visible injury. Some care is more effective when given early9; do not wait for a routine mental-health appointment or a physical sign. The medical team will determine the care needed and coordinate with specialists.
  • Suspected harm to a child or a disclosure of harm: report it immediately to the Family Protection Reporting Centre on 1919. Explain what you know and what the child said; do not wait for a complete account or certainty. The service is free, operates around the clock10, and covers harm to children within and outside the family11.

Do not delay emergency help while reporting procedures are completed. Do not wait for a parent's agreement before seeking protection. If a parent is the source of danger, or telling them could put the child at risk, contact the responsible authorities and seek help from a safe adult. Seek help even if the harm happened some time ago.

While arranging help:

  1. Listen and take your child seriously. Give them time: “Thank you for telling me. You are not responsible for what the other person did, and I will help you.” Do not blame them for where they were or how long it took to speak.
  2. Let them use their own words. Do not suggest names or details, or repeat questions to test whether the answers match. You could say: “I am listening. Tell me what you want to tell me.” Afterwards, write down their words and the time of the conversation without adding your interpretation.
  3. Focus on safety now. Prevent further time alone with the person of concern where you can do so safely, and seek help from the responsible authorities. Do not confront the person the child named or arrange a meeting between them to settle the matter.
  4. Explain the next step. Do not promise to keep it secret from everyone. Say: “I will ask people who know how to protect children for help, and I will explain what we are going to do.” Share information with people who need it to protect the child, not in family group chats or on social media.

Leave examination and investigation12 to trained professionals. Do not examine or photograph your child's private parts to look for evidence. Your role now is to support and protect them.

Keeping protection part of everyday life

Ask your child's nursery, school or activity leaders about supervision, help with toileting, one-to-one contact with children, and whom to contact with concerns. Knowing a person or respecting their position does not replace clear protection procedures13.

After a worrying incident, maintain your child's routine and safe relationships6 where possible, and follow the professionals' plan. Pay attention to what they need without assuming they must show particular symptoms or that what happened will determine their future. You may also need support to help you care for them.

Help your child know they can ask questions and turn to you for help. When they do, listen and act to protect them, whatever words they can use.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I teach my child about body privacy?

Choose an ordinary moment, such as getting dressed or preparing for a bath, and keep it brief. Use accurate body-part names rather than insulting or mocking names, and explain that the parts covered by their underwear are private. Ask them to tell you if someone asks them to keep a secret about their body, a touch or a photo. Body privacy does not mean keeping harm secret.

Is it normal for a young child to touch their private parts?

A young child may touch their genitals out of curiosity or to soothe themselves. This alone does not mean adult-like sexual desire or prove that they have been abused. Respond calmly, remind them about privacy and redirect them to another activity. Seek specialist assessment if the behaviour involves coercion, threats or pain, repeatedly disrupts play or everyday life, persists despite calm redirection, or includes sexual acts that do not fit their developmental level.

How should I answer when my child asks how babies are born?

Start with what your child wants to know, without turning a short question into a long lesson. You might say that a baby grows in the mother's uterus and comes out through a canal called the vagina, or sometimes by an operation called a caesarean section. Then ask whether that was what they wanted to know. These early conversations do not need a detailed explanation of marital intimacy.

What should I do if my child tells me someone harmed them?

Report it immediately to the Family Protection Reporting Centre on 1919. Explain what you know and what the child said; do not wait for a complete account or certainty. While arranging help, listen and take your child seriously, and say: “Thank you for telling me. You are not responsible for what the other person did, and I will help you.”

Let them use their own words: do not suggest names or details, or repeat questions to test their answers. Prevent further time alone with the person of concern where you can do so safely, and do not confront that person or arrange a meeting between them. Do not promise to keep it secret from everyone, and do not examine or photograph their private parts.

Where do I get help if a child is being harmed in Saudi Arabia?

If an assault is happening or there is a direct security threat, move with the child to a safe place if you can, and call 911 in the Makkah, Madinah, Riyadh and Eastern regions, or 999 elsewhere. For a medical emergency, call an ambulance on 997. After a recent sexual assault, go to the nearest hospital emergency department, even without visible injury; do not wait for a routine mental-health appointment.

For suspected harm or a disclosure of harm, report it immediately to the Family Protection Reporting Centre on 1919, even without a complete account or certainty. It covers harm to children within and outside the family. Do not delay emergency help while reporting procedures are completed, and do not wait for a parent's agreement before seeking protection.

Writing and article review

Alanoud AlturkiWritten byAlanoud Alturki

Content writer and researcher at Tatmeen, writing in Arabic and English on mental health and everyday life topics, including relationships, stress, work, habits, and family.

Tatmeen teamMedical reviewTatmeen team

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