Helping Your Child Transition Out of Diapers

Views differ about the right time to wean a child off diapers, and there is no doubt that each view deserves respect and consideration. From my perspective, however, gradual progression is the best approach in everything, including diaper weaning. We consider it one of the best and most effective methods because it prepares both the family and the child for the moment when the diaper is removed.

Parents must nevertheless understand that their child may not be ready for this stage. This may lead them to remove the diaper for a while and then return to it. This is completely normal, and parents should be fully prepared to accept this stage and treat it as temporary, even if it lasts a long time.

In the past, before Pampers existed, removing the diaper took time, and children were weaned off diapers at the age of one!

Diaper weaning can begin at the age of one or two. There is no standard for what is right or wrong, since our child will eventually stop wearing a diaper. There is therefore no need to place too much pressure on the child over this matter.

So how can we help a child stop wearing diapers?

Let me guide you through stages that may make the transition out of diapers easier for you and your children.

The first stage:

We speak to our child as someone who is growing up and tell them that we see them that way. We ask whether they would like to be like the older people at home and use the bathroom as they do. To support this, we should use encouraging phrases such as, “Look who has grown up and goes to the bathroom alone,” and “Mommy's big child uses the bathroom like the grown-ups.”

We should also gradually explain to our child that we will remove the diaper for a short time and that, when they feel discomfort in their abdomen or some pain, they should tell us so we can take them to the bathroom or place them on the potty.

The short period during which we remove the diaper each day could be one hour. During this time, we must not become distracted from our child. We should play with them and keep them occupied with something, such as telling them a story. The important thing is to remain nearby, stay with them, and be alert to whether they need the bathroom.

What should we avoid during this stage?

• We should not offer to take our child to the bathroom. Instead, we tell them to inform us when they feel something. Offering to take them prevents them from noticing whether their bladder is full or whether they feel discomfort. Allowing them to notice this can accelerate the learning process.
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• It is important to teach the child that what they are doing and experiencing is for their own sake, not for those around them. We should therefore not become overly excited or applaud them for doing something they need to do for themselves, rather than for the applause. In many cases, this applause places pressure on the child because it makes them feel that they must always relieve themselves in the bathroom to make their family happy. We should also neither reward them with prizes nor punish them by withholding prizes depending on whether they succeed or fail to use the bathroom.

During this stage, it is important to remember that it is completely normal for a child to have an accident in their clothes. When this happens, it helps us develop the child's awareness of their needs. We must not shout at them, make them feel guilty, or laugh at them. Instead, we should say, “We relieve ourselves only in the bathroom, like Mommy and Daddy.”

Never compare your child with other children!

For example, do not say, “Look how Youssef knows how to go, but you do not.” Instead of comparing them, you can ask whether they would like to be like Youssef and use only the bathroom to relieve themselves. It is important for us to be role models. We can do this by taking the child into the bathroom with us when we go. We can also use stories or explain digestion: how food enters our bodies and then moves to the stomach, which takes from it the substances that help us grow. Our bodies cannot retain all the food, however, so they must dispose of waste to remain light and comfortable. That is why we go to the bathroom. This stage may last for two weeks. During the first few days, we remove the diaper for an hour. On the fourth and fifth days, we remove it for two hours. After a few more days, we increase the period to three or four hours.

The second stage:

When we feel that our child has learned to recognize their needs and control themselves, we remove the diaper during the day. We may also work on removing it at night, but if the child still drinks milk during the night, removing the nighttime diaper is not recommended.

Some children, on the other hand, have not yet developed full bladder control. We can therefore wait and remove the diaper when we notice that the child wakes in the morning with a clean diaper. Some children may take longer to go out without a diaper, particularly when leaving home. This may take months because of fear, anxiety, or problems in their relationship with their parents.

When will a child stop wearing diapers?

As parents, it is important to remain patient and calm so that we can help our children through this stage, which will end no matter how long it takes. The amount of time a child needs to stop wearing diapers does not matter as long as they eventually do so. In general, however much diapers may pose an obstacle or problem for parents, the matter is usually resolved once children start kindergarten.

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