Each of us has an idea of what we think a mentally healthy person is. Being free from depression or anxiety does not necessarily mean that someone is not suffering or does not have a diagnosable condition. Perhaps it means being happy or simply being able to live a good life.

All these things are important and should, of course, be given the attention they deserve. But what distinguishing factors make a person mentally healthy?

Here are some of the most important factors, which may not readily come to mind.

The five characteristics of a mentally healthy person:

1. The ability to hold two opposites in your mind at once

Is this person good or bad? Did you like the film or not? Are you talented—yes or no? Who is right, you or me? This mental tendency to place things into opposing categories in order to settle on a clear opinion applies to every aspect of our lives. But it appears especially strongly in relation to personal questions, such as how we see ourselves, how we view our childhood, and how we judge others.

The ability to see shades of gray is certainly a skill not everyone possesses. But here we are talking about going one step further: the ability to say, “We are both right, and we are both wrong too,” during a disagreement with someone else. It is the ability to reach conclusions in any situation such as, “This is very good and very bad,” “This person has good intentions and may also be harmful,” “I love you and hate you at the same time,” and “My parents gave me a great deal, but they also failed terribly in raising me.” All of these things can be true.

Opposites go together far more often than most people realize. If you can hold two opposing perspectives in your mind at the same time, this gives you an overview that is more accurate and realistic than one-dimensional answers, whether about yourself, another person, or a situation.

2. The ability to regulate your emotions while communicating

Regulating your emotions is one thing, and communicating is another. Each is a difficult skill to master. Put them together, and you have a major challenge. Being able to regulate the anger or pain you feel so you can explain your feelings to another person, and regulating your anger so you can express the problem in a way the other person can hear, are two examples of good mental health.

3. Self-awareness

Everyone knows themselves. But the question is: to what extent? Do you understand your natural responses to things? Are you aware of what you feel and why you feel it? What are your strengths and weaknesses? Your talents? What do you like and dislike? What are your needs, and what do you enjoy? The better you understand yourself, the stronger and more resilient you become in difficult situations, the more readily you forgive yourself for your mistakes, and the better the life decisions you make for yourself.

4. Feeling content with yourself

This involves being happy simply to be who you truly are. Think of it as spending time with yourself happily and comfortably. Can you sit alone without entertainment and feel at ease? Can you be present in the current moment without thinking about the future, the past, or something or someone else? Can you sit with a particular feeling—allowing it to pass and acknowledging it—accept that feeling, and try to understand it? These are all examples of feeling content with yourself.

5. A willingness to take risks

The ability to expand not only within your comfort zone but beyond it requires great strength and resilience. Are you willing to venture beyond what is familiar? Can you rely on yourself to handle failure if it occurs? Do you know yourself well enough to recognize what is worth taking a risk for? Can you forgive yourself if you do not succeed? The strength required to risk failure and endure that failure is truly immense.

If reading these characteristics feels somewhat intimidating, do not worry. Few people possess all five qualities. In fact, most of us would do well simply to work toward developing each one.

Three ways to develop the five characteristics:

1. Let go of some of your attachment to being right

When you let go of some of your attachment to being right, you open up an entirely new world for yourself: a world of seeing the bigger picture, which is an important part of becoming wise. You move beyond a right-or-wrong mindset and begin to see yourself and others differently. The ability to see opposites and larger truths makes it easier to understand your feelings, which often contradict one another, and to understand other people. It strengthens your ability to observe and understand yourself.

2. Learn and practice mindfulness

Mindfulness or presence—the ability to live in the moment while directing your attention toward yourself, what you are doing, and, I would add, what you are feeling—is a major part of self-awareness and contentment with yourself. Scientific studies have shown that practicing mindfulness has benefits for psychological and physical health.

3. Work on seeing failure differently

Failure is a sign of courage. Failure means that you pushed yourself beyond your comfort zone and took a risk. When handled well, it can become an opportunity for growth. We can learn more from our experiences of failure than from our successes.

As you become more self-aware, more present, more expressive of your feelings, and more content with yourself, you will become freer to take risks and learn from them. Ultimately, this will lead you toward experiences and successes beyond what you thought you were capable of achieving.

Author:Dr. Jonice Webb

Translator:sehanafsia.com

The translated article was first published on the platform sasapost