Essential Elements of a Healthy Romantic Relationship

Romantic relationships go through stages that we sometimes find happy and at other times boring. To have a healthy romantic relationship, we must recognize that this is normal and move away from the fantasies portrayed in films, which show only the glittering side of romantic relationships.

Some patterns in romantic relationships are difficult for us to change, much like habits to which we have become addicted. However, because these patterns directly affect the person, their perception, and their awareness, as well as the people around them and those they love, change may be possible. In some cases, a person finds it difficult to leave the relationship for financial or cultural reasons, because of the children, or for other reasons. This is where the stage of “readiness to stay” begins, as we can prepare ourselves to remain in the relationship.

How can we make a romantic relationship successful?

1. Work on managing expectations:

Remaining in a relationship is not an appealing idea, because a healthy relationship revolves around maturity, sharing experiences, respect, happiness, and intimacy.

But if reality proves that every attempt, or any further attempt, will not bring change, expectations must be set through a deeper understanding of each partner's nature. If you would prefer your life partner to be romantic and expect them to surprise you on every birthday with a small flower or a gift, but this has not happened despite several attempts, lower your expectations on your next birthday.

Do not continue expecting your partner to do things you know they do not know how to do, or at least do not know how to do consistently.

2. Adaptation is essential:

This means adapting to reality and recognizing that things will not change because reality says otherwise. For example, if you live in Egypt, you cannot expect the streets to be free of traffic. If you live in Canada, you cannot expect the weather to be warm in September or October. If it is September in Canada, you should keep a light coat in your bag.

In other words, this is reality. Adapt to it with realistic expectations for which you are prepared. This can also be applied to adapting to the reality of your partner's nature within the relationship.

How can we create healthy communication in a romantic relationship?

Communication is one of the most important things both partners should strive to maintain because of its role in creating connection and cohesion in the relationship, allowing both partners to find fulfillment in one another and, in turn, creating reassurance between them.

The problem arises when one partner plays a negative role during dialogue or communication. I therefore present the three-part rule—the good, the bad, and the neutral—which enables us to deal with this partner.

• The good:When you have good or happy news that you would like to share with your life partner but already know you will not receive support from them, tell supportive people first. Draw confidence and support from them, then tell your life partner about it without giving excessive details. Keep your expectations of their reaction realistic, and remember the other people who supported you.

• The bad:The same applies to any bad or negative news, such as losing your job. First, connect with your feelings and with people who can offer emotional and psychological support or practical help. Then tell your life partner without giving excessive details. Once again, manage your expectations well and do not expect something unrealistic from the relationship.

• The neutral:Discuss neutral subjects. The goal is to keep communication going between you. In other words, address topics that are unlikely to cause problems or reveal major differences between you. This is what we mean by neutrality: subjects you could discuss with anyone else, such as the weather. In short, any subject you previously considered trivial may become something that makes communication between you easier rather than preventing it.

A partner's occasional inability to communicate with us does not mean that we are in an unhealthy romantic relationship. Life's difficult circumstances sometimes require us to withdraw, leaving us without the desire to talk even to our life partner. But when this break in communication becomes permanent, it is an indication that we are in an unhealthy romantic relationship that needs to be repaired, either through your own efforts or by consultinga specialistif possible, or by leaving the relationship when its negative impact on you becomes greater.