When we own a valuable device, we take great care in how we handle it so that it retains its quality. Since our children are more precious and dear to us than any device or car, we should learn the skills needed to raise them in the best possible way, so that our own childhood experiences—with all their good and bad moments—are not our only source of inspiration for raising our children.


Simple tips for raising a psychologically healthy child

Read and educate yourself and your partner about raising children

Do not allow matters to proceed without plans. You play a fundamental role in shaping a future human being, and your influence will remain for several generations. Equip yourself with knowledge and education so that your influence will be positive.

Show your children that you love them

Do not assume that your love is implicitly understood. Vary the ways you show it. Through hugs, kind words, simple gifts, acceptance, and support when they make mistakes, the message of love will reach them clearly.

Spend enjoyable time with your children

Play with them, tell them about the good and bad parts of your childhood, and listen to them. Ask about their opinions, moods, and the events of their day. They may open a window for you into their private world and tell you about their friends and electronic games. Make sure, however, that this is quality time. Thirty minutes in which you are fully engaged with your children is better than three hours in which you pretend to be with them while stealing glances at your phone notifications.

Reinforce good behavior

Draw attention to your child's good behavior, praise them, and commend kind actions. Reward your child for them, but it is preferable not to rely solely on material rewards.

Use constructive criticism

You can criticize and draw attention to inappropriate behavior, but avoid a gloating tone such as, “Didn't I tell you not to do that?” Offer the criticism once and do not repeat it, and take care not to disparage the person while doing so.

Set limits on punishment for your child

Punishments must not affect a child's basic needs, such as food and spending money, and physical punishment must never be used. Punishment should instead involve withholding rewards and privileges. You can also use “thinking time” to draw the child's attention to the need to reflect on their behavior. Ask the child to go to their room for a few minutes to think about what they did. The severity of the punishment must also be proportionate to the behavior and must not exceed it. Remember that the purpose of punishment is to discourage inappropriate behavior, not to vent your anger.

Fairness within the family

A family has rules, and children must understand that there are rules everyone should respect and that these rules differ according to age and each child's individual needs. It is unreasonable for a university student to go to bed at the same time as a young child. The same applies to spending money.

Be consistent in your approach to raising your children

This allows the child to predict the consequences of their actions. Both parents must also agree on this approach. A mother should not permit, in her husband's absence, something the father has previously forbidden, and a father should not grant what the mother has withheld. Otherwise, the boundaries will no longer be clear to the child and will lose their authority and meaning. Partners can discuss difficult matters privately and then present the child with an agreed decision.

Routine

A child urgently needs routine to feel safe and healthy. Its absence leads to chaos and affects the child's physical development and psychological well-being. There should be known and regular times for sleeping, waking, eating meals, playing, and weekend outings. Establishing a routine requires effort, patience, and wisdom at first, but it will later lead to stability and psychological security for both children and parents.

Pay attention to healthy nutrition for children

This means more than merely providing food to satisfy their hunger. At the same time, attention should be given to physical activities by encouraging children and participating with them. From a medical perspective, a child who does not receive 60 minutes of physical activity each day is considered neglected.

Provide your child with adequate protection

Children should know that they can turn to their parents for protection from siblings, neighbors, and bullies at school. Parents must first provide help by teaching their children how to protect themselves, ask for assistance, and make a complaint if necessary. It is important to understand, however, that adequate protection does not mean shielding the child from every situation in which they might be harmed. Doing so will weaken them in the long term and will not help them develop their own abilities.

Share accurate information with your child

When difficult events occur in the family, do not hide them from your children. Instead, give them an honest explanation suited to their age and developmental stage. Secrets harm family well-being, particularly that of children, and undermine a child's trust in themselves and their parents. A six-year-old child once came to me after being told that his father had traveled far away when the father had actually died. The child kept trying repeatedly to contact his father and became depressed because he could not reach him. A child's image of an absent father who does not answer the phone is far harsher than their image of a father who has died.

Be patient, especially with a child who faces challenges

If a child has special needs, it is essential to show additional patience, consider their developmental stage, and set reasonable expectations for their future. Setting high expectations frustrates parents, causes children to regress, and harms their relationship with their parents.


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